I spent yesterday in silence

Yesterday, I didn't speak. Well, I accidentally said, "yes," while we were at the swimming pool, but I was otherwise quiet. It was lovely.

I know that it frustrated my husband a bit. He had questions for me. He wanted to know how to pronounce things and what things meant, but I just touched my lips and shrugged. Sorry.

It was really lovely though. I saw how often idle chatter ends up with us fighting, over silly little things. He was upset because someone at the bus stop had been talking to him and I didn't intervene. He told me this. I looked at him. I listened. I cared... but I didn't reply. And so the conversation moved forward.

He was frustrated with the fact that he can't make calls to El Salvador and commented how things are crazy here, how we pay for the phones and can't use them. I could sense myself wanting to talk about things are crazy in El Salvador or explain how our phones work... again, with frustration. I just had to shrug though... and when I am able to talk to him, I will do so with calm.

I woke in the middle of the night and was able to see the points during the day where I had been judgmental and the times when I wanted to react based on old patterns. With a little bit of gentle quiet wisdom from Grace, I was able to see how I could be a little bit calmer and a little bit more loving.

We went to the pool and hung out together and I had the energy for it and it felt nice.... often times it feels like there isn't enough time for doing the responsible things I need to go, spending time with him, and dedicating myself to my spiritual practice... but yesterday I took the spiritual practice with me.

I was tempted to explain some of this to him, but I realize that this isn't where he is at... and that is fine.

He is about to get up... we shall see how this day goes. Oh, how I would like to maintain the silence.