This moment of silence is beautiful

It isn't because I'm busy that I don't feel like socializing. It isn't because my schedule is so packed with meetings and graduations, birthdays and celebrations, fiestas and paperwork. It isn't because I'm afraid or uncomfortable. It isn't because I can't carry the small talk or tell an entertaining story. It isn't because your event is draining or because I'm in a new town.

I can't explain that I just have no need to hear your little stories to get to know you. I don't need to know your favorite color, where you went to school or what type of music you like to see into your soul. We don't need to giggle over a little joke that we can reminisce over next week when are back at work.

I don't need that to feel a connection to you.

I don't need to bond over burgers and beer so as to not feel lonely.

I just like being alone. I just appreciate this time and place in my life. I cherish it but don't cling to it.

This is where I am at... this part of this retreat... this part of this life...

I hang out with the cats.... maybe we take a bath... or meditate... or stream a movie on netflix.

Oh, yes... I am here blogging to myself. Writing without a witness.... Witnessing only I....

And the sister was pretty and the son was funny and the deck was well-made, but that was then... 20 minutes ago... and now.... well, I'm here... in my quiet.

And, I don't know if I can explain it... or even if I want to, but I appreciate it and I love it... and this moment of silence is beautiful.