If I were to take a walk today or ride my bike or dip my toes into some cool river, what would be the important part of each of those seconds, each of those possibilities?
The truly magical thing is that I am really starting to trust and to believe and to let go and to have faith. Worries about money will appear or how I will submit my weekly quota of hours worked, but I can just gently say to myself that Grace will take care of it... that I will just pay attention and listen and that it will all be fine. The fact that it does work out fine is obvious and maybe doesn't need stating... the fact that I can release that little knot of tension is the part that seems like a subtle little miracle.
And so I think that now the trick is to just pay my demons a little less heed and, again, to really just listen quietly.
Oh, it feels like I am repeating myself. I imagine I just say the same things over and over again so that I don't forget or maybe they are little revelations each time.
And, really, even with the same words, each time I have a slightly different meaning. When I said the same thing three months ago, it hadn't sunk in quite like it has today.
I am really starting to feel fear drop away. I am really starting to loosen my grasp upon expectations and fantasies.
There are still a thousand games for my ego to play and a thousand ways in which I will learn a different version of the same lesson.... but things really are shifting.
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